Bonding
by Chrissy3
Summary: (Part 8 updated)A four day retreat for family bonding, turns out to be more than Angel and Cordelia bargin for
1. Bonding 1

Part: 4/?   
Author: Chrissy   
Rating: PG   
Couples: C/A   
Spoilers: up to Birthday   
Feedback: Please don't make me beg!!!!!!   
Distribution: You know who you are. If you want just   
ask!   
Disclaimer: Not mine, please don't sue   
  
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Cordelia held her breath as she nervously watched Dr. Seliva place her stethoscope up against Connor's chest. She had nightmares about these well-baby check-ups. That one day the doctor was going to find something to attest to Connor's unnatural creation.   
  
"Well the little guy seems to be in perfect health." Slightly relaxing at the doctor's announcement, Cordelia hurried over to the examining table, lifting Connor up in her arms. "Is he able to sit up on his own yet?"  
  
Kissing the top of Connors head, Cordelia nodded with pride shining in her eyes. "He's been able to sit on his own for a week now. Haven't you Connor?"   
  
Writing something down in Connor's chart Dr. Seliva smiled warmly. "That's amazing. Can he pass an object from hand to hand?" Smiling again Cordelia nodded, nuzzling her cheek against the top of Connor's head. "Like I've said before he seems to be well ahead of most babies his age." Closing Connors file, Dr. Seliva paused for a moment.  
  
"What about bonding? I can clearly see the connection between the two of you. But what about Connor's father, Angel? I can't help but notice that he never comes for these check-ups." Cordelia could feel the doctors steady stare, as she scrambled to come up with an excuse other than, 'You don't have sewer access and he has this thing with daylight.'  
  
"He works nights, but trust me Angel loves his son. The second he wakes up to the time he's called out on... until he has to go to work, Angel and Connor are joined at the hip."   
  
"Well it sounds like he puts in a lot of hours, like most parents these days." Taking a pamphlet from the counter, Dr. Seliva handed it over to Cordelia. "This may or may not be something that interests him, but there's a four-day retreat, that works on bonding skills."  
  
Hesitating for a brief second, Cordelia took the colored brochure from the doctor. "Is there something wrong with Connor?"   
  
"No! Not at all. It's just that I know many of my patients have benefited from the retreat, it's only a suggestion. Not something that has to be done. Mary will be in to give Connor his third set of immunizations. See you in another month?" Cordelia nodded absently as her eyes skimmed the bright picture on the front of the leaflet.   
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Dr. Seliva closed the door to her private office and let out a deep sigh. All was going as planed. She hoped that the little seed of doubt she planted in Miss. Chase's mind would be enough to get the job done. Not only would it be easier this way, but also they wouldn't have to fight Angelus on what had to be done.   
  
As head elder after her father's premature death, Stacia Seliva was thrown into his place. It wasn't as though she hadn't known that the position would someday be hers, she just thought that she'd have time before taking her father's sear in the Romany Clan. He'd know what to do now, without any hesitation. The members would do his bidding without the resistance she was now faced with.   
  
Slowly making her way over to her desk, and picked up the phone. "It's done. If Angelus and Connor haven't signed up for the retreat by next month I'll push the issue... I know we could just go in there and take him, but it's better this way. Angelus's friends would get in the way and make our job more difficult. I'll talk to you in a few weeks." Hanging up the phone, Stacia laid her head in her hands, hoping she was doing right by her people.  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
"What else did Dr. Seliva say?" Angel watched as Cordelia scrubbed Connor's highchair, knowing that something at the doctor's appointment had upset her.   
  
"I already told you everything. He's doing great Angel. Off the charts in his height and weight. Way ahead of the other six month olds. He's fine." Putting the highchair back in the corner, she looked around for something else to do.  
  
She knew she was being silly, but it really grated on her nerves that Connor's pediatrician even suggested that Angel needed some retreat to bond with Connor. As far as she was concerned Angel was the best father known to mankind.   
  
"Cordy, what is it?" He wished, just for once, he didn't have to play twenty questions to pull the truth out of her.   
  
"I'm fine, Connor's fine. We're all fine." Walking over to her desk she started to rearrange the messy desktop. She could feel Angel's eyes follow her and knew he wasn't going to give up. "It's stupid really. It's just that Dr. Seliva never sees you at the appointments-which we both know is impossible-but she's asking about how you and Connor are bonding."  
  
There it was, the look on Angel's face she had desperately wanted to avoid at all costs. That dejected, I'm-not-a-good-father look. "I told you it was stupid. If she saw the way you're with Connor she'd see that you're perfect."  
  
He didn't know what to say. It was like one of his worst fears, not being a good parent to Connor, was being slapped in his face. "Is there something wrong with Connor that she'd say that?"  
  
"NO! Angel! This is why I didn't want to say anything. Connor is a health, well-adjusted baby. He has more love and devotion than any other child does." Walking over to where Angel was sitting stiffly, she took his hands into hers.  
  
"Listen to me. Dr. Seliva is a crackpot. I mean did we even check her credentials?"   
  
"Did she have any suggestions?" Angel was hardly listening to her. All he could think about was the relationship he had with his own father.   
  
Dropping his hands with a deep sigh, Cordelia walked over to Connor's diaper bag and pulled out the pamphlet. "Just some new age frou-frou retreat."  
  
Taking the pamphlet, he quickly read through it. "Maybe we should go."  
  
"Have you lost your mind?"   
  
"I think it's a good idea. Face it I work weird hours." Angel stood up and started to pace.  
  
"Saving the world." Cordelia pointed out.  
  
"His father is a vampire."  
  
"With a huge heart."   
  
"He's constantly in danger."  
  
"But protected by a family who would die for him."  
  
"I want something normal for him." Angel stopped feet from her, his eyes showing his pain. "Four days, where he has normal, is surrounded by normal."  
  
Cordelia felt his pain, and also wished the same for Connor. "What about Holtz? He's still out there you know. And let's not forget Wolfram and Hart."  
  
"They're out there either way." He pointed out in irritation.   
  
"What happens if I have a vision? How do I get in touch with you?" Cordelia could see that she was going to lose this battle. She knew without any doubt that Angel and Connor didn't need to bond, but they did deserve a time that was danger free. Where Angel could drop his guard and just enjoy fatherhood. But that meant four days without either one of them. Four empty days.  
  
"I kinda thought you'd come." Shifting uncomfortably in front of her, he couldn't seem to look her straight in the eye. He hadn't thought that she wouldn't come, in fact he just expected it.   
  
No other words could've made her happier.   
  
Angel's eyes lifted when Cordelia didn't respond right away, and saw her resolve cracking. "The resort is right outside of LA, we could always come back if we need to. Plus Wes, Gunn and Fred will be here." He saw the uncertainty starting to come back. "Four days, that's all I'm asking."   
  
He gave her his best puppy dog look, knowing that whatever hesitation Cordy may have would evaporate. He waited until he saw the slight tug on her lips. "Thank you." Hugging her tightly to him, he smiled when she replied.  
  
"No, thank *you*." 


	2. Bonding 2

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~  
  
"Did you remember to pack Connor's booties? The blue ones with-."  
  
"Yes." Cordelia answered through clenched teeth.  
  
"What about extra onesies?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Did you pack--?"   
  
"Angel I swear if you ask one more time if I packed extra diapers, or wipes, or the blue blanky with white trim I will scream."   
  
Taking his eyes off the road for a second he raised a brow at her little outburst. "I was going to ask did you pack a bathing suite for yourself?"  
  
"Oh," She frowned a bit. "Why didn't you say so?" Angel didn't know if he wanted to laugh at her cheeky grin or strangle her. For the last two weeks she'd been on edge, snapping at the simplest of comments. He wished that he knew what was bothering her, but each time he asked she'd pull that blank expression and say she didn't know what he was talking about. He'd gone as far as to suggest they cancel the weekend, thinking that maybe he'd pushed her into it, and she was regretting her decision. But she responded that if he did she'd spike his blood supply with holy water and walked out of the room.  
  
Reading the list of classes and activities, Cordelia told herself to calm down. She was behaving like some kind of shrew. This weekend was a good thing. Not only for Angel, but for Connor too. But she couldn't help feeling that she was setting herself up for a fall. A huge painful fall that would leave her scarred and devastated. It wasn't until Angel pointed out that he just expected her to come with him that she realized just how intertwined into their lives she had become. How important Angel and Connor had become to her.   
  
He and Connor had somehow, overnight, became the most important things in her life. She just had been too dense to notice it happening. It wasn't the shift that had her not acting like herself, but the not knowing exactly what she was to them that made her acting like PMS girl. Oh she knew that Angel thought of her as a close friend. But somehow that wasn't quiet the same.  
  
"Before we get there I think I should tell you that I registered us as Mr. and Mrs. O'Connell. I didn't want to spend the weekend trying to explain to everyone about our little family." He waited nervously as Cordelia let the information sink in.  
  
"Well I guess that makes sense, seeing that the truth would have us locked away in tight little white jackets." She was going to be his wife...for four days. Geez could things get anymore complicated.  
  
"You're not mad?" He had no idea how she'd react to the news.   
  
"No of course not." It didn't make her mad, just a little dizzy, perhaps a tad nervous, oh and don't forget giddy. She had never really been giddy before in her life, seeing that it wasn't one of the most appealing emotions on could have. Fred was more the giddy kind, it was cute on her.   
  
Angel chanced another glace from the road to Cordelia to gauge her expression. He really wanted this weekend to be perfect. Just four days where he wasn't always on guard waiting for the next shoe to drop. Where he could spend time with Connor and Cordelia without some super natural incident causing havoc in their lives.   
  
Four days where he wasn't analyzing his changing emotions for Cordelia. He could just spend time with her without having to nitpick every little word she said, or studying her actions. Trying to see if her feelings matched his. He could do that. Right?  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
It hadn't been a very long drive, thirty minutes at most, but it was far enough where it felt as though there was distance between them and their everyday lives. Check-in had been scheduled for around three earlier that afternoon. But with a quick excuse they had let them know they'd be showing up a little after sunset.  
  
They stood in the reception area, waiting to be seen. Cordelia had Connor in her arms, smiling down at his ever-increasing babble. While Angel looked around for one of the staff to direct them in the right direction.  
  
"You must be the O'Connell's." A young dark woman warmly greeted them. "We've been expecting you." She hurried behind the large desk and grabbed two sets of keys.  
  
"Sorry we're a little late." Angel offered the apology as he gathered up Cordelia's heavy suitcase, and Conner's bag and the bright red cooler that held his food supply. He could come back for his bag, once they got to their room.  
  
"Oh don't worry about your bags. John will get them. My name is Tammy." Angel dropped the bags with a grateful sigh and shook Tammy's offered hand. He kept the cooler, not trusting another person with it.  
  
"I'm Angel, and this is my...wife Cordy and my son Conner." It felt so normal, almost right introducing his best friend this way. No explanations, just a simple we are family.  
  
"It's great to meet you. I'm sure your excited to see your room, so why don't you follow me." Tammy led the way past the reception desk and through a large sitting area. "Everyone is getting ready for dinner. The dinning area is just off to the right." Tammy pointed in the direction to a room that was being set for the meal. "You can get acquainted with the other families in your group. Breakfast is at seven, lunch at noon, there's a snack time around three, and then dinner at seven thirty."  
  
"Breakfast at seven?" Cordelia whispered into Angel's ear, causing a shiver to go up his spine. "We're just getting to bed at seven."  
  
Angel couldn't help but chuckle. It was true that over the last three years everyone's sleeping habits had slowly shifted to where they closely matched his. He knew personally that Connor was up at six, he'd spent many blurry eyed mornings with his son. But for Cordelia, she was still sound asleep at that time.  
  
"I'm sure you'll manage." He laughed again as she stuck her tongue out at him. This was more like the Cordelia he had come to know.  
  
"Every room has a small refrigerator, for the babies bottles and juices. We just recently installed microwaves into the rooms as well. Our guests used to share one in the rec room." Cordelia gave Angel an amused look as she envisioned him waiting in line to use the microwave, him with his blood and the others with their baby bottles.   
  
Tammy turned right down a long hall. "You may find that your room doesn't get a lot of direct sunlight. When we installed the new gym we didn't realize that it would block out the sun. Most people don't mind, but if you want I can find you another room."  
  
"No that's fine. We're night owls, so I don't think that we'll notice at all." Angel gave Tammy a reassuring smile, as Cordelia snorted.  
  
"More like night bats." Angel gave her a nudge.  
  
"Here's your room." Tammy stopped in front of a door, inserting a key. "If you need anything just dial 0 and you'll get the reception desk." Handing Angel and Cordelia a set of keys Tammy bid them farewell.  
  
"Wow." Cordelia stood outside in the hallway and stared at the massive suite. "Wow."  
  
Placing a hand on the small of her back, Angel guided her and Connor in the room. He couldn't put it any better, wow. The room was any parent's heaven. Though modest in size, the furnishings and baby furniture more than made up for it. To their left was a sitting area, a large couch that looked like an overstuffed beige marshmallow. A coffee table and entertainment center sat directly across from the couch. A baby swing sat near the couch, ready to lull Connor into a blissful sleep. Along the wall ran a small kitchenette. The small refrigerator under a counter that held the microwave, a coffeepot and small sink.  
  
Further into the room on the left was a huge King size bed, flanked by two matching nightstands. A large dresser sat next to another set of doors that Cordelia would bet a years salary was a man eating walk in closet. On the right down two steps that were closed off by a childgate was where the small nursery was set up. The wood on the crib, changing table and little bureau matched the wood on the headboard of the king size bed. The crib set was done in soft creme and beiges.   
  
"Look Angel, not a dark color anywhere. How will you manage?" Letting the diaper bag slip from her shoulder onto the ground, her eyes settled on another set of doors.   
  
Angel's mind hadn't moved from the King-size bed. One bed, him and Cordy. If he played his cards right he might have a couple more nights with her and Connor at his side. Watching Cordelia as she walked hesitantly to the closed door, he waited as she opened it slowly.  
  
"Holy...oh wow." The bathroom was huge. There was a luxurious and sinfully huge bathtub perched in the corner. It had to be large enough to fit at least four grown adults. Or just one overly pampered Cordelia Chase. There was a separate shower stall, with four separate sprayers and a seat. Cordelia's mind was reeling, she didn't know what she wanted to try first. Maybe the shower then a long bubble bath followed by a shower.  
  
"You know dinner is in like five minutes." Angel laughed at the dreamy expression on her face.   
  
"Just a little bath?" She couldn't help whining. Angel shook his head and took Connor from her.  
  
"Nope, because I know if you get in here I won't see you until Sunday. Come on Connor needs to get changed." Taking her by the hand he nearly had to drag her out of the bathroom.   
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Tammy headed back to the main office to let the other's know that Angelus and Cordelia Chase had arrived. It was weird being in the presence of the legendary Angelus. She'd been raised on the stories of the horror he had caused, and of the vengeance her clan had taken on him. If she hadn't already known that he was a vampire she would never had known. He seemed so normal.  
  
But what his near future held wasn't for her to decide. That was Stacia's choice.   
  
Walking into the office she saw her two cousins at it again. For the last month they had been at one another's throats over the path Stacia had announced the clan would take. For a young leader she sure had her hands full.  
  
"Is the bastard all settled in?" John snapped.  
  
"Yes, and their bags are in the lobby." Tammy could see that he was ready to argue, but she gave her younger cousin a steely glare and he bolted out of his seat and stormed out the door.  
  
"He doesn't understand what must be done." Her other cousin answered.  
  
"Do any of us really understand?" Tammy replied. "But it's not for us to understand, just accept."  
  
~~~*~~~ 


	3. Bonding 3

~~~*~~~  
  
By the time they arrived for dinner, the dinning area was a swarm of activity. The delicious aroma from the dishes being served by a sharply dressed serving staff teased Cordelia's empty belly. The mixed sounds of clinking silverware and voices filled the room, along with the occasional wail from one of the smaller guests.  
  
Angel unconsciously placed his hand on Cordelia's back, as she held Conner to her. He had a moment of trepidation as he witnessed all the activity in front of him. He knew that there would be other families here, he just hadn't expected so much noise, or movement. Looking down at Cordelia she gave him one of her special eye blinding, heart melting smiles that she reserved only for him and Conner.   
  
Tammy had seen them enter the room and instead of greeting them right away she watched for a moment instead. If she hadn't known that Angel was a vampire she would swear that they were just like every other family in the room. She couldn't miss the protective or loving way Angel placed his hand on the lower part of Cordelia's back. Or the love that radiated from her smile. The stories she had heard of Angelus as a child seemed almost silly now as she watched the little family unit together. She couldn't imagine that Angel could have been responsible for all the terror and mayhem he had caused in Europe.  
  
Catching John's scowl at the couple, she gave him a sharp nudge and went to greet their newest guests. "Angel, Cordelia, I was getting worried that you'd miss dinner." Cordelia smiled in greeting, shifting Conner from one hip to the other. "There's a table over this way."  
  
Once again Tammy led the way, occasionally greeting guests as she went. Stopping in front of one of the table in the center of the room, she introduced the families to one another. "I've found your missing dinner companions. This is Angel and Cordelia O'Connell, and this little guy is Connor."   
  
The other two couples at the table smiled and made their hellos. Tammy pulled out a highchair from under the table and went on. "This is Ben and Denise Wilson, and their daughter Emily." Angel reached over and shook hands with Ben, reminding himself not to squeeze too hard. "And last but not least this is Timothy and Kara Olsen, and their son Timmy." Angel shook the other man's hand. "If you will all excuse me, I'll let your server know that you've arrived."  
  
Cordelia busied herself with placing Connor in the highchair as Angel put an assortment of small toys on the tray. Pulling out Cordelia's chair and waiting for her to take a seat to push it in. Both Angel and Cordelia missed the jealous expressions from the other two females at the table.  
  
The silence at the table was awkward, and Angle reached under the table to take Cordelia's small hand into his. He could already tell that this was going to be one long night.  
  
~~*~~  
  
"So was Conner's birth natural?" The question came from left field, halting the fork that was halfway to Cordelia's mouth.  
  
"Natural?" Angel asked nervously, looking from Kara who had asked the question to Conner.   
  
"Did you have an epidural or was it natural?" Giving Cordelia and Angel a questioning glance as she picked up her howling son.  
  
"Oh, natural, riiight." Placing her fork back on her plate, Cordelia all of a sudden felt completely out of her element. "You could say his birth was drug free." And it had been, maybe not quiet natural but defiantly drug free.   
  
"I think I have met the first female who hasn't gone on for hours of the horrors of labor." Tim raised his glass in a mock salute toward Cordelia, only making her feel more uncomfortable.  
  
"That's my Cora." Angel reached under the table to give her hand a quick squeeze.   
  
"So how long have you two been married?" Angel and Cordelia turned their attention to Ben, feeling as though they had avoided one set of headlights, only to get caught by another on coming car.  
  
"We've a..."   
  
"Six years." Angel recovered Cordelia's blunder only to have her glare in his direction.  
  
"Wow you must have married young." Denise smiled sweetly as she studied Cordelia.   
  
Angel picked up his glass of water and tried to ignore Cordelia's snort. "My *husband* is mistaken. We've known each other for six years. We've only been married for three."   
  
The two couples exchanged a look.   
  
As the luck would have it Conner took that time to get fussy, giving Angel something to focus his attention on. Taking Conner out of his high chair, Angel reached under the table for the diaper bag, where earlier that night he had placed one of Conner's bottles.  
  
"Oh you bottle feed." The words were dripping with repulsion, as Kara watched as Angel place the nipple at Conner's eager mouth. "I've breastfeed all three of my children."   
  
At any other time Cordelia would've had a wonderfully scathing reply. Something that would leave that catty, pompous know it all at a loss for words. Well she would have, hadn't the other woman taken that very moment to prove just how well she breastfed her son. So it was actually Cordelia who was at a loss for words as she tried to train her eyes on something else. ANYTHING else.  
  
Angel on the other hand had a sudden flash of Cordelia nursing Conner. The sweet picture that it would make. He realized that he was staring and in his rush to find something else to rest his eyes on he made the mistake of picking Cordelia's ample breast to look at. Clearing his throat he tried finding something else, but each time his eyes went back to the same spot.  
  
"Well I tried breastfeeding but it hurt too much." Denise softly spoke the words, trying to comb over the tension at the table.   
  
"Well I guess it's not for everyone. At least you tried." Giving a sickeningly sweet smile, Kara changed her son from one breast to the other.  
  
Crumpling her napkin in her hand, Cordelia told herself to keep her mouth closed. That this weekend was for Angel and Conner. She just needed to ignore the anal-retentive she bitch, with the naked boobies that were practically sitting on the table.   
  
Sensing that Cordelia was at her breaking point, and not just because it did wonderful things to her heaving chest, Angel placed Conner into her arms. Watching as she pointedly took the bottle from his hand and offered it to the squirming infant. After a minute he saw that his son worked his miracle on Cordelia's frazzled nerves.   
  
"Can I have everyone's attention?" Tammy's voice filled the room. "I'd like to thank all of you for joining us this weekend. This will hopefully be an adventure you'll cherish for the rest of your lives, not only will you learn some very valuable ways to communicate with your small miracles but with your spouses as well. In each of your rooms is an itinerary, with the classes your family is enrolled in. Breakfast is at seven, but I'm sure with your early little risers that you're all probably up at the crack of dawn."  
  
"Seven?" Leaning into Angel, Cordelia's voice was a mixture of horror and disbelief. "Did she just say seven?" Giving her a sharp nudge, Angel couldn't help but smile. Cordelia Chase up before noon, what were the chances?  
  
"Please feel free to explore the grounds, and I will see you all in the morning." Tammy gave a cheerful smile as she walked from the front of the room back to the table she occupied.  
  
"Well I don't know about the rest of you, but after our long trip here I think we're going to head off to bed." Denise yawned, as her husband Ben gathered up their daughter. "It was nice meeting all of you." With a wave goodbye the couple left the table.  
  
Faking a huge yawn herself, Cordelia stood with Conner still in her arms. "Angel *sweetheart* I'm a little wiped out myself. Ready?" Flashing him her sugary sweet smile guaranteed to give a cavity or two, she was happy to see that she wouldn't have to give him any other hints.  
  
"Sure *honey*." Playing along with a smirk, Angel made a grab for Conner's diaper bag, barely getting out their goodbyes as Cordelia dragged him off.  
  
"Well that was defiantly an eye opening experience." He muttered under his breath as soon as they were safely out of earshot.  
  
"What? The breasts ala Carte? Or the Nazi Mother from hell attitude?" Angel ignored her raised brow and her breasts as they walked down the hall toward their room. "Just the way she said bottle-feeding like it was some horrible thing. Like we had a choice, you know?"  
  
Angel opened the door to their room as Cordelia continued to rant. "Oh you *bottle* feed." Her voice mimicked. "Then she goes and bares it all to see! They make blankets for a reason you know."  
  
Taking Conner from her arms, Angel fought the smile that was creeping up on his lips. It amused him when she got like this. Her eyes would literally sparkle, her body movements more pronounced. "Oh and did you hear the way she went on and on and on about what hell her labor was? She was acting like she should have won some award because she did it naturally. Darla stuck a stake through her heart, without drugs. I'm sorry, I never really liked the blonde blood guzzling ho, but that's love."   
  
Grabbing a tank top and a pair of drawstring pants out of her suitcase she stormed into the bathroom. Angel heard her slamming around behind the closed door and gave Conner a reassuring look. "Don't worry, she gets this way sometimes. But we still love her huh? Just a bit of advice, stay quiet, nod a lot and she'll stop sooner or later. Oh and never laugh or smile, it only adds fuel" Kissing the top off Conner's peach covered head, he was rewarded with a happy squeal from the little tike.  
  
Cordelia stood in front of the mirror taking deep breaths. She needed to get a grip. Sure that Kara woman was irritating to say the least, but Cordelia Chase could handle irritating. She dated Xander hadn't she? It was the all the talk about pregnancy, and labor that got to her.   
  
Basically it all boiled down to the fact that she was a fraud, a big fat loser of a fraud. She may wish desperately that Conner were hers every time she held him close. Inhaled his sweet scent. Held his tiny hand in hers. But he wasn't her child. He was Angel and Darla's. With everyday that passed it got harder to distinguish that fact. Because it was her that bathed him and feed him, soothed away his tears .   
  
But tonight was just a reminder how much he wasn't hers. There were no memories of morning sickness, mood swings, or the baby's first kick. No swollen belly to rub, or back pains to endure. She didn't get to experience any of these things, and most likely never would. Not when she was a captive to the emotions that she had for the tiny baby and his father.   
  
Her worst nightmare, that woke her up in the middle of the night sick to her stomach, was Angel getting his Shanshu. That he'd take Conner and live his mortal life with Buffy. Leaving her behind with all these overwhelming emotions that she couldn't make heads or tails of. Losing them would be like losing the ability to breathe.  
  
"Cordy you okay in there?" Angel's soft knock on the door brought her out of her stupor.   
  
"Yeah hold on." Turning on the sink facet and running her hands under the water to wash away her tears, she took a deep breath and stepped back from the mirror to examine the damage. Reassuring herself that Angel would be non the wiser to her childish tears, she opened the door to find Angel leaning against the doorjamb waiting.  
  
"Conner fell asleep in the swing, he missed his afternoon nap." Studying her face, Angel wiped away one of the wet strands of hair that was plastered to her cheek. "I'm pretty tired myself. Why don't you get him ready for bed while I get the couch ready?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
Angel paused for a moment. "If you don't want to get him ready..."  
  
"Not that, I love getting him ready for bed. Why get the couch ready?" Already walking over to the swinging contraption, she gingerly stopped the swing in midair.  
  
"Well one bed." Crossing his arms across his broad chest, his eyes went to the king sized bed back to Cordelia.  
  
"So, it's not like we haven't slept with each other before. Or is my morning breath so terrible that you'd risk sleeping on a lumpy couch?" Taking the sleeping baby over to the changing table, she tried to take off Conner's outfit without waking him.  
  
"I-I just thought that..." Clearly caught off guard Angel didn't want to push his luck, but at the same time wanted to give Cordelia an easy out. Of course he wanted her by his side through out the night, but it didn't matter what he wanted. It was what Cordelia was comfortable with.  
  
"You're being a dork." Picking Conner off the table and tip toeing over to the crib, she lowered him down slowly. With one final kiss she made sure the covers were tucked around him before whispering goodnight.   
  
Walking past Angel to the bed she let out a yawn before slipping under the covers. "You're not sleeping in that? Are you?"  
  
Angel was still waiting for her to change her mind, but seeing her fluffing her pillow he headed for the bathroom. This was going to be a long torture filled night. Sure they had slept together in the past, with Conner between them. He could do this.  
  
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~ 


	4. Bonding 4

The sounds of steady heartbeats and breathing filled the room, creating a warm cocoon around Angel as the two most important people in his existence slept. Shifting noiselessly, Angel peered at his bedmate. He wondered if she knew that she pouted slightly when she slept. Her lower lip protruding, teasing him to distraction. How did he ever think he could sleep alone at her side platonically? His mouth literally watered to take her lower lip into his mouth.  
  
Platonic. There was a word that no longer applied to the way he felt about this young woman. Maybe at one time the term applied, but it had gone way beyond that. There was no one word that could completely describe the feelings that ran wild through his body. He wasn't fool enough not to know that he was deeply in love with Cordelia Chase, but the emotions he had for her didn't end there.   
  
His entire body felt alive when she was near. Her endless faith in him made him feel as though he could do just about anything. How was it, that a person he once thought of as being the most self centered and needy human on this earth, turn out to be the one to turn his life inside out and upside down?   
  
Reaching over and swiping away a stray strand of hair away from her face, he felt an electric current at his fingertips. He wondered if his entire body would feel that way if he pulled her up against him. Would their bodies fit as well together as they did in his dreams?  
  
Cordelia broke the silence with a soft moan, as she moved languidly in her sleep. Preparing to close his eyes so not to get caught staring at her, he was surprised when one of her hands reached out to move from his shoulder down his arm. The tingle was there, making him bite the inside of his cheek. Her hand moved down to rest on his hip. Her pout gone as a whisper of a smile took its place.  
  
He thought he was going to die when her body started moving toward his. Her bare leg making contact with his, the swell of her breasts pressed up against his chest, her head pillowed on his shoulder. This was too good to be true. It was like being given the one wish you always wanted but knew you couldn't have.  
  
Relaxing as much as his traitorous body would allow, Angel worked hard to banish any sexual thoughts from his mind. But with every little movement from Cordelia brought another wave of sexual longing. Images of Cordelia's naked body withering beneath his, her eyes pleading as he touched and licked every inch of her delectable body. The warmth of plunging inside her, the tightness around... Taking deep breaths, Angel squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that morning would come soon.  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
"Come on Angel! Cordelia knocked on the bathroom door for the second time that morning. "Breakfast is in ten minutes." Angel emerged from the bathroom, a frown on his face. "Not that this really needs to be said, but you just aren't a morning person are you?" Holding a necklace out for him to help her clasp, she turned her back just in time to miss the glare her remark earned her.  
  
"I didn't sleep very well." Angel muttered as his large hands fought to undo the small clasp on the necklace.  
  
"I slept like a baby. I don't think that I've slept that well in ages. Maybe it's the big bed." Angel smirked. The tender cuddle from that previous night had turned into her draping herself on top of him. Not that he minded...much. But it was too much on his denied libido to attempt a second night. He had saved Cordelia the need to go on endlessly about how sorry she was about practically sleeping on top of him the entire night, by slipping out of bed around five when Conner stirred for his morning bottle.   
  
Once the necklace was secure, Angel grabbed Conner's diaper bag as Cordelia picked up his son and nestled him close. "After breakfast we have swim class at eight thirty." Cordelia read off the itinerary. "Then we have a class on Strengthening the Family." Fighting the urge to roll her eyes she gave Angel a cheeky grin.   
  
"What like exercise?" Angel became suspicious at her overly enthusiastic tone and fake grin.   
  
"No, this will be a lot more painful." Cordelia answered. "It's where we get to spill our most painful secrets and listen to a stranger tell us how to make our lives better."  
  
Angel made a face that was a mixture of uncertainty and fear. "Secrets huh?"  
  
"Hey this was your idea buster." She reminded he as the reached the dinning area. "Oh gee, look who's waiving us over to their table." Cordelia mumbled as she put on her best Sunnydale smile and led a reluctant Angel by the hand.  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Breakfast had gone by with relative ease. The right side of Cordelia's cheek was raw with all the biting she had to do. Not to mention the bruise that had to be forming on her right knee from Angel's hand when he'd give her warning to stay silent.   
  
Now they were heading to their swim class. Angel held Conner looking around the swimming area for any windows that might cause him any danger, and was pleased to find that there wasn't a window in sight. "See you two in a few minutes." Cordelia headed in the direction of the locker rooms.  
  
Watched helplessly as Cordelia disappeared into the woman's locker room, leaving him and Conner alone to figure out what direction he should go. Angel decided to follow the other father's to the Men's locker room.  
  
Not knowing what to do with Conner, Angel looked around at the other father's and noticed that they were setting their children on towels as they got ready. Copying the other's Angel spread out a large fluffy towel that Cordelia packed on the ground, he set his son down.   
  
Pulling out his new swimsuit Angel grimaced at the bright yellow Cordelia had talked him into. What had he been thinking? He hadn't been, his attention had been stunned by her brilliant smile. Now he had to pay the price by having to wear something so bright.   
  
Looking down to where Conner was playing with his toes, Angel commented softly. "Now there's no laughing. Mommy picked this out for Daddy." Conner looked up into Angel's eyes and let out a long stream of babble making Angel chuckle. Quickly changing from his somber colored clothing and into the bright suit, he went back to the bag rummaged through it for the swim diapers that were inside.  
  
Giving the yellow ducks on the diapers a questioning glance, he gave his son another look. "Sorry guy, but it seems that were stuck here. I promise not to laugh at you either."   
  
~~~*~~~  
  
"I dieted for weeks for this damn swim class." Cordelia stood in front of her locker, listening to the conversation around her. "How did you manage to get your figure back?" Feeling the attention on her, Cordelia gave a small shrug.  
  
"Fast metabolism?"   
  
"You're lucky." Denise answered shyly. "No matter what I do I can't seem to get my figure back." Cordelia felt like a fraud as the other mother's glanced enviously in her direction.   
  
"It doesn't even look like you were ever pregnant." Kara came up from behind, an unattractive sneer on her face. There was no real answer to that, well none that would be appropriate. Waiting for the room to clear out, Cordelia looked down at the two piece bathing suit she was wearing and let out a groan.   
  
Of course all of the other woman would be wearing one piece suits months after giving birth. Why hadn't she thought of that before letting her vanity run amok?   
  
~~~*~~   
  
Angel waited patiently as the other woman filed out of the locker room. He hoped he didn't have to wait long, the swim diaper didn't really protect against 'accidents' and he didn't really feel like being the one holding Conner if one should arise.   
  
When he started to think that Cordelia was never coming out, he saw her turn the corner. A white towel was secured above her breasts, hiding her body form view. Giving her a questioning glace, he knew it wasn't like Cordelia to be so modest. Her face reddened slightly as she stepped forward to take Conner from his arms and join the rest of the class already sitting at the edge of the water.  
  
"You know you can't take the towel into the water...right?" Angle leaned over and whispered into her ear.  
  
"You know, I was thinking... Maybe I should just sit this one out." Angel gave a slight snort.  
  
"I'm not doing this alone." Not understanding her odd behavior he went to take the towel from her and was surprised when she stepped away. "Cordy?"  
  
"It's nothing...really. It's just...I-."  
  
"Hello class, my name is Debra." The instructor stepped out from the small office and smiled at the small group in front of her. "Why don't we get started? Everyone to the edge of the pool, with baby on your lap. This way we can get baby used to the temperature of the water."  
  
Angel looked expectantly at Cordelia, as she handed Conner back to him. Turning to the water expecting her to join him, he heard the collective intake of breaths around him. Looking in the direction the other males were gawking he nearly let out an outraged growl when he saw *his* Cordy standing there in the skimpiest black bikini he had ever seen. His nostrils flared in anger as he fought to control the urge to grab her towel and cover her up again.   
  
Casting a quick glare at the other males who were practically foaming at the mouth, Angel sent each a silent message to each one. Mine. The wives were also casting their own heated looks at their husbands, with a promise that this incident would not be forgotten anytime soon.  
  
Almost shyly Cordelia joined Angel and Conner, not looking into the vampire's eyes. There was no real need, she could practically feel the tension dripping off him.   
  
"I don't even know where to start." Angel growled into her ear.   
  
"Hindsight." Cordelia muttered, taking Conner off Angel's lap. She really hadn't meant to cause such a spectacle, at the time the suit seemed perfect. All she could think was the way it might effect Angel. Not a bunch of horny husbands.  
  
"Go change." He gritted out between his teeth, still not liking the looks she was receiving.  
  
"I don't have anything else to wear." Cordelia whispered back, getting a little frustrated at his attitude. It wasn't him that had to suffer the embarrassment.  
  
Angel scowled.   
  
The class went on, as everyone slipped into the water. Which proved to help the situation. With Cordelia in the water it hid most of her body, he would just have to keep them in the deeper parts of the water for the rest of the class. That and make sure all the other males stayed clear.  
  
Conner, who was blissfully unaware of the situation, splashed and played with large squeals of joy. His little legs jetting out in rapid kicks, his arms flinging in every direction. His obvious delight soothed Angel's mood, until soon he was laughing with his son. Cordelia also relaxed, enjoying Conner's excitement of his very first swim lesson.  
  
When the class was over Angel stalled, making sure they were the last ones to leave the pool. Once the last parent left the pool area to the locker rooms, he swam the edge of the pool to grab Cordelia and Conner's towels.  
  
"Thanks." Cordelia reached for the towel, only to have Angel surprise her by wrapping it around her body.  
  
"The suit..."  
  
"I know, I know. I wasn't thinking." Cordelia bundled Conner into the dry towel.  
  
"I know I don't have the right to tell you what you can and can't wear..." Angel broached the topic carefully, but when he saw one of the father's return for an item left behind, and the look he gave Cordelia..."Burn it." Angel said seriously, his eyes baring down one the other man. Honestly he never wanted that much of Cordelia's skin exposed for others to see, ever again.   
  
Cordelia looked ready to argue, but instead a smile crept up on her lips. He was jealous. He was almost reeking of it. Angel was jealous of the looks she was getting from the other fathers. Perhaps buying the suit wasn't a total waste after all. Impulsively she stood on her tiptoes and pecked him on the lips.   
  
Before he could respond, she placed Conner in his arms and hurried off. Angel watched in bafflement, not sure how to take the newest surprise she had given him. It wasn't until a wet warmth seeped onto his chest and trickled down that he moved. Looking down at his son's innocent face, Angel made a face. "Way to ruin a moment." 


	5. Bonding 5

~~~5~~~  
  
"Welcome to what I hope will be an hour filled with ways to bring your family units closer together. My name is Tyler..." Angel looked over to where Cordelia sat next to him on the floor holding Conner, listening intently as Tyler went on and on about every degree he owned.   
  
They were at their second class of the morning, and the only good part was that Cordelia wasn't parading around in that skimpy little bikini for everyone in God's creation to see. In fact the moment she closed the bathroom door to shower he had found the suit and tore it in one easy yank. It wasn't until Cordelia was out of the bathroom searching for the garment that he felt bad about taking the upper hand...again. What really did him in was her small smile when she shrugged her shoulders telling him it was his loss.   
  
"In today's class we're going to be discussing on how to strengthen the family bond." Tyler smiled at the room. "I hope to make it as painless as possible."  
  
Everyone laughed. Angel looked at the other three couples. He was relieved to find the class to be smaller than the last one, but when Kara and her husband walked into the room, Angel started looking for the quickest way out.   
  
"As I'm sure you all know ever since your little bundles of joy came into this world, everything has changed. Roles in your partnership shifted, responsibilities multiplied, your priorities changed. Face it your not the same people that you were when you got married. But that's okay, with good communication skills this transition can be a smooth one." Angel could feel Cordelia tense next to him, heard the way her heartbeat skipped a beat. Not knowing what had her acting so peculiar, Angel reached over and took her hand in his, hoping to give her some sort of silent reassurance.   
  
"Now with all these new developments in your lives it's important to learn proper communication skills now, so you don't let things build and fester. Whether its feeling that you're the only one getting up in the middle of the night to take care of the feedings, to feeling the stress of being the only one meeting the families increasing financial needs. These things need to be voiced, but in a productive manner."  
  
Most of the class nodded to this. Angel couldn't really relate. Not with the strong family that surrounded him on a daily basis. Everyone pitched in, even when they weren't required to. Not that he'd ever say the gang had the best communication skills, but still they were all able to speak their minds about certain worries, whether it be financial or something else all together. Perhaps it was the fact that he was actually a single parent that didn't make him feel as though he was pulling most of the weight, it was to be expected.   
  
What ate him away was the desire to make Cordelia more of a permanent fixture in his and Conner's lives, it made him feel guilty at times when he thought how much she was giving up. Was he being selfish? He couldn't help what he was feeling for his seer, anymore than he could stop the sun from setting every night. But it also scared the hell out of him that one day she would wake up and realize what exactly she was giving up by staying by his side. What would life be like without Cordelia Chase? The young woman he once thought to be the most self-centered and needy being on this planet, now was the one thing he truly didn't think he could live without. Life was funny like that.  
  
"When communicating with one another you each need to learn not to use statements like; You always...or you never. These never help. You can say things such as; I feel that...or It makes me feel. This way you aren't placing the blame on the other partner, making their defenses rise. So I want each of you to turn to your partner, and tell one another one thing that really makes them proud about the other."  
  
Each couple shifted so to sit across from one another. Cordelia could feel her hands shake. She could do this, there was alot about Angel that made her proud. Everyday something new would make her stop and think how wonderful it was to have Angel in her life.  
  
As soon as each couple was facing one another, the instructor continued. "I want each of the women to start with: 'You make me so proud to be your wife because...' and the gentlemen to reply with; 'You make me proud to be your husband because... Everyone ready?"  
  
Cordelia felt her mouth go dry as she tried to swallow in vain. How was she supposed to say those words to Angel? Were the PTB laughing at this new situation she had landed herself in? Hoping that Angel didn't notice that her palms were sweating, Cordelia took a deep breath. "You make me proud to be your w-wife because..." Angel held his breath, so far these were the sweetest words his ears had ever heard.   
  
Proud. What made her proud of the man sitting in front of her? How long did she have? Single-spaced, with or without footnotes. So much about Angel made her proud. There was alot that made her mad as hell too, but it didn't even compare. It had to be the way he was able to make her feel so protected just by being there. His ability to make her feel special by a simple touch or look. The wonderful father he turned out to be. It was a true pleasure to be able to just watch the way he interacted with Conner.  
  
"...That you've stayed on your path."   
  
Angel felt his stomach fall, he was so sure that she was going to say something else, perhaps a little more personal. Now he was going to have to change what he was going to say. "You make me proud to be your husband because...of how caring you are."   
  
Not what he was planning to say, but he couldn't really say the things in his heart after her reply.  
  
"Wonderful." Tyler clapped his hands in front of him and rubbed them together. "Now same beginning, but I want each of you to tell the other what it is that you *really* wanted to say, but were too afraid to."   
  
Cordelia knew that if Angel couldn't feel her palms sweating before he could them now. Okay she could do this, no problem. She could sit here and just tell Angel everything that she had hidden in her heart for the last six months, give or take. Yup right here in the middle of a group of strangers she could just ...oh dear lord how was she going to do this.  
  
Angel watched as Cordelia fought with herself, trying to gather her nerve. Her heartbeat had picked up, her breathing rapid. Giving her hands another squeeze of encouragement, her eyes came to his. She was scared. "Cordy if this is too much-."  
  
"No! I can do this." Taking a deep breath, she chided herself for being such a dork. "You make me proud to be your wife because..." Breath damnit! "Angel this is hard."   
  
Angel nodded. He could see the conflict in her eyes, the desire to tell him, yet afraid to share too much of herself. "Do you want me to go first?"  
  
"No, I need to do this, but with out the crappy beginning. If I'm going to be honest here, I can't start by saying I'm your wife." It was now or never. "You make me proud everyday, with the millions of small things you do. You make me proud when I watch you with Conner, the way you have been able to open up and allow something so small and innocent into your heart so completely. Proud about how you take care of our small and sometimes obnoxious family. Everyday you leave a little more of the shadows behind, to join the rest of us in the world. But what makes me love you the most..." Oh god she said love didn't she? Just opened her mouth and let the L word come flying out. Well she could cover and make it into that friendship love thing again. But did she want to? She had bared so much already, why not just go all the way?   
  
He couldn't believe his ears. He heard the words, it was there. Did she mean that she loved him as a friend? He waited patiently for her to continue. Practically holding his breath, like it was even needed, he felt his heart lurch when tears started welling in her eyes.   
  
"What makes me *love* you the most is how you have made my world a safe place for me, to grow and to be myself. A place where you accept me for all my imperfections and allow me to learn who I am. I love your old fashion side when you're opening doors for me or pulling out my chairs. Even your obsessive side when you want to keep me under lock and key to keep me safe. Last but not least I love your dorky side. Everyone already knows that you can do the sit in the dark and be cool thing. But the Dork, he's all mine." Letting go of one of his hands to dry her eyes, Cordelia's smile wavered at his vulnerable expression. "I guess I'm trying to say that I love you."  
  
The smile that spread across Angel's face went from his luscious lips all the way to his heavenly eyes. His grip on her hands tightened. "You love me?"  
  
With a slight nod and trembling lips she whispered yes.   
  
Angel didn't care who was watching, he let go of her hands so that he could embrace her, practically pulling her into his lap. Releasing her, he put a hand under her chin to raise her face to him. "I love you, I don't know the exact moment I realized it, but it's been hell keeping it to myself. Some days I'd feel that if I didn't say something I would explode. Other times I was afraid that if I did say something I'd run you off."  
  
"I wouldn't-."  
  
Putting a hand over her mouth he shook his head with a laugh. "My turn remember?" He laughed again when her eyes rolled. It was such a Cordy thing to do. "You make me proud too, in so many ways. The way you have accepted what the Powers have thrown at you. Perhaps in the beginning you weren't all that hyper about it..." They shared a smile. "I love your concern for those in need. And with Conner... you could've walked away, and I wouldn't have blamed you if you had. First there was that whole Darla thing... But you stayed, and you have taken Conner into your heart, treating him as though he were your own. That in itself means more to me than you'll ever know."  
  
They both sat silently for a moment, so many things they wanted to say. But it was finally out there, the few words they never thought they'd hear the other say. They both knew that instead of making things easier, their feelings made things a little more complicated.   
  
"Wonderful." Tyler took a look around the room as the couples shared their souls. "Now we're going to share with your partners, in a productive way the things that have been bothering you. Now remember, keep away from phrases like 'You always' or 'You never'."  
  
Angel and Cordelia paused. They didn't have the same problems with one another that the other couples had. "Well." Angel looked down and hesitated. "The only thing that you have ever done to upset me was when you kept your medical condition a secret. I was so angry that you kept the CAT scans and painkillers from me. I felt as though you didn't trust me."  
  
"That wasn't it!" Cordelia exclaimed. "I just knew that you'd worry over something that we couldn't do anything about... But you're right, you had the right to know."   
  
"What about me?" Angel tried not to laugh. Cordelia wasn't the type to not say something. Which can at times be highly annoying, but take that away and she wouldn't be Cordy.  
  
"Sure yuck it up." Relieved that they were able to still make jokes at a time like this took the edge off. "I'll have you know that there is one thing that can be just a tad annoying."  
  
"Just one?"  
  
"You rehang towels."   
  
"I what?"  
  
"You're a habitual towel offender."  
  
"You're making this up." Angel chuckled.  
  
Cordelia looked down at Conner for help. "Tell your Daddy that I'm not making this up. That he can't stand it when a towel is hung up and not all perfect like he likes it. Tell him about the times we've tested him, wrinkling the towels on purpose."  
  
"You're a brat."   
  
Tammy stood outside the doorway watching Angelus and Cordelia interact. It was plain to see that they had finally revealed their feelings for one another. It had taken them forever it seemed. Some of the clan members had even started a small pool on when they'd both get a clue.   
  
"Well?" Turning to her cousin John she saw his scowl as he stood waiting for her answer.  
  
"Stacia called, everything is ready for tonight. I need for you to be at my office at exactly five." Watching as John's lips made a very unattractive sneer, she waited for his answer.  
  
"It doesn't matter that I don't think he deserves this does it?" Tammy lifted a brow letting him know she wasn't going to have this conversation with him again. "Fine, but only because Stacia is my sister."  
  
"Whatever. I could care less why you're doing it. But I need to know that you're going to help. I really don't want to have to fend off some royally pissed off vampire by myself." Folding her arms over her chest she glared down at her younger cousin.  
  
"Yes I'll be there." John fumed as he stalked down the hall.   
  
Tammy sighed and returned her attention back to the attractive couple sitting in front of one another laughing. Everything had to go just right tonight. She understood Stacia's decision, more now that she had seen Angelus for herself. Something had to be done and soon. 


	6. Bonding 6

Part: 6/?   
Author: Chrissy   
Rating: PG   
Couples: C/A   
Spoilers: up to Birthday   
Feedback: Please don't make me beg!!!!!!   
Distribution: You know who you are. If you wantjust   
ask!   
Disclaimer:Not mine, please don't sue   
  
~~~Want to thank Avalon for sucking me into the C/A  
world!!!  
  
  
Tammy waited in the hallway for Angelus and his little family to exit from having lunch. Her nerves were on edge from having to fight with separate clan members that were employed here at the retreat. Like any of this was up to her. She couldn't get from one end of the building to the other without someone pulling her aside. Is this what Stacia went through on a daily basis? Because if it was then Tammy was thrilled not to have the responsibility of head elder on her shoulders.  
  
"Angel," Tammy walked forward as soon as she spotted him. "I need a word with you."   
  
Angel was holding his son in one arm, his other snaked around Cordelia's waist. "What's wrong?"  
  
Trying to give the vampire a huge smile Tammy shook her head. "Nothing's wrong. I just have an opening later today in my Father child class. Usually that class is booked months ahead, but one of the families didn't show this weekend, so I thought of you and Conner."  
  
"You don't think that Conner and I have bonded?" Cordelia stifled a low groan at Angel's side. She'd been to this conversation before, and there was no real urge to revisit it. Plus there was so much she wanted to talk to Angel about. So many things still left unsaid.   
  
"No! I think I really need to come up with a better name for the class." Tammy laughed. "It's really a fun class. You learn different games to play with your child, songs to sing-."  
  
Cordelia snorted. "Trust me you don't want Angel singing."   
  
"Really? I bet he has a wonderful singing voice." Angel gave Cordelia a victorious look.  
  
"The class is very small." Tammy saw the hesitation on both of their faces as they looked at one another. "It's only for an hour, and I've also booked Cordelia for a stress relief massage." From the reports they had gathered on Angelus's seer they knew that the young woman loved an occasional pampering. But Cordelia didn't look as thrilled as Tammy had thought she would.  
  
"Well..." Angel cast a look down at Cordelia. Though the idea of the class was intriguing he really didn't want to be separated from Cordelia right at that moment. They had a clear schedule until dinner and honestly he had other plans. Ones that included putting Conner down for a nap and Cordelia curled up to his side. Perhaps a couple kisses here and there.  
  
"You should go." Even though the words sounded encouraging, her face showed just the opposite.   
  
"Are you sure?" Both could sense the other's hesitation. It wasn't until Conner spoke up, grabbing at Angel's shirt with loud undistinguishable chatter. It reminded both adults of why they came. To give Conner a taste of normal life.  
  
Gently caressing the back of Conner's head Cordelia made her decision. "Yes I'm sure. Normal remember?"  
  
Angel didn't look one hundred percent sure, but gave in. "Fine. What time?"  
  
"At five. That still gives the three of you some time for some alone time. Plus I bet the little guy is wiped out." Any hesitation on either Angel or Cordelia's faces vanished.   
  
"Sounds great." Angel grinned. "We'll see you then." Literally dragging Cordelia down the hall, Tammy watched as they turned the corner, letting out a long sigh. She hadn't really thought they'd say no, but the doubt had been there. What would she do if Angel hadn't agreed to come? Thankfully she'd never have to know.  
  
~~*~~  
  
As soon as the door to their suite was securely shut, and Conner was happily chirping to himself in the automatic swing, Angel advanced on Cordelia. Cupping both sides of her lovely face in his hands, he lowered his head to hers, until their lips were just inches apart.  
  
"Do you know how badly I've been wanting to do this?" He whispered.  
  
"Then will you just shut up and do--." Her taunting words were extinguished as his lips covered hers. It started off softly, but with the pent up desire and longing that had been stored up for months, the kiss turned fervent. Skimming his tongue over her bottom lip, he nearly died again when her tongue brushed up against his.   
  
Her hands were running up his chest to his shoulders as she pulled him closer to her body. They didn't notice that they were backing up, until Cordelia found herself being pressed into the wall. Pulling away to give her a moment to breath, they stood staring at one another in amazement.  
  
"Wow." She grinned breathlessly. "That was...wow."  
  
Running his hands up and down her arms, enjoying the feeling of her smooth flesh beneath his touch, he grinned his agreement. "Perhaps I should play hooky from class."  
  
"Maybe." Cordelia grinned back. "But you can't, Conner remember. This is our weekend to be normal. Do the normal family together thing." Taking a look around him to check on Conner, her heart melted at his sleeping face. "How about we put Conner to bed?"   
  
Looking from his son down to the woman in his arms Angel leaned in for one more kiss. This time her mouth opened up to him immediately. Too quickly it ended, as Angel hurried over to the swing and gingerly picked up his sleeping son. Carrying Conner over to his crib, Angel brushed a kiss on his son's forehead before tucking him in.  
  
Returning to where Cordelia stood, Angel took her by the hand and led the way to the massive bed. "We need to talk." Cordelia stated as she settled onto the soft mattress.  
  
"I know." Angel agreed as he lay down next to her, pulling her closer. "But later. Right now I need to." The need to feel her lips beneath his again was more important. With a moan deep in his throat he dipped his head down to hers, relishing the intense feelings that coursed through his body when their lips and tongues met.   
  
He had never felt so much with just a simple kiss. Perhaps simple wasn't the word, seeing that nothing was ever simple when it came to Cordelia Chase. A kiss shared with her was like a drug, an addictive one. His mind would get all fuzzy, as instinct kicked in.   
  
If the kiss wasn't enough to make him lose his mind, the feeling of her body beneath his made him lose control. Their hands roamed one another's bodies.   
  
"Too much." Angel rolled off, bringing shaky hands to cover his face. "You're right we need to talk. I don't want this to happen too fast. Whatever is between us I don't want either of us to have any regrets."  
  
Taking in deep breaths, Cordelia nodded. "Yes talk we need..." Looking over at his perfect body so close to hers. "Why?" Running her hand from his stomach up to his chest, she was rewarded by his deep groan.  
  
Grabbing her hand he held it still over his unbeating heart. "Because." Fighting to remember just why they needed to slow things down. "I'd love to be able to lay here and keep touching and caressing you. I've been dreaming of nothing else but that. But the curse..."  
  
Boy funny how just one word could kill your sexual libido. Another was Angelus. Yup those two words thrown into a little tryst could turn a girl off. "The curse. Damn gypsies."  
  
"I meant what I said earlier, I love you. But my feelings also make me feel slightly selfish. If anything happens between us I'll be denying you of so much."  
  
"Oh this isn't going to be that little speech you have down so well. The I want you to have sunlight and a normal life blah, blah, blah. Because I'm not, you know who. I don't sit around wishing for normal, whining about what life has thrown at me. I haven't dedicated my life to the cause because I want normalcy. Try again." Cordelia's features hardened.   
  
"Guess you've heard that spiel a few times?" Angel sighed. "I guess I just wanted to give you an easy out. Not that I want you to take it, but give you a choice."  
  
"Still don't see me heading for the door do you?" Her face softened. "I'm not going anywhere. And really don't appreciate the easy out clauses you keep throwing my way. I have a voice, and know how to use it."  
  
"Fine but that doesn't change the fact of my curse." Angel stared at the ceiling.   
  
"I know. Angel I'm not going to say that loving you is going to be easy, what with you're shrewish ways and all." Relieved to bring a smile to his face, she went on. "But I know about the curse, it's not something that's going to sneak up on us out of left field."  
  
"Right field."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"It's not going to...never mind not important." Angel shook his head. "Fine then what about the others? I'm sure us together might be a little weird for them."  
  
"Yeah right. With all this talk of Kyerumotion and Moira talk around the hotel lately?"   
  
"You heard about that too huh?" Angel grinned at her becoming blush.  
  
"Just a few hundred times or so."   
  
"Okay so we're good with this?" He needed to hear it again. To know that what they felt for one another was all right.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Good." With uncanny speed he had her wrapped in his arms.   
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Tammy checked her watch again for what had to be for the tenth time in the last five minutes. Angel was late. Maybe only by a few minutes, but late just the same. Her nerves were already tense, so much could go wrong from now until they got Angel and Conner out of the building. Telling herself to relax, she walked across her office to stare down at the small blue globe and went over the words in her mind.  
  
"Tammy?" Angel stood behind her giving her a start. She hadn't heard him enter the room, and made a mental note not to let him get the upper hand again.  
  
"Angel, I'm so happy you made it. Cordelia off getting pampered?"  
  
"Yeah. Sorry we're late, I ah fell asleep." Seeing the awkward shift he made from foot to foot, Tammy highly doubted that he did any sleeping.  
  
"That's okay. The other father and son are running late as well. Why don't we get started?" Conjuring up a smile, Tammy wiped her sweaty palms on her pants. "I thought we'd first talk, see if we can come up with any areas you might need help in to get closer to..."  
  
"Conner?" Angel could smell the tension pounding through Tammy's veins. Narrowing his eyes he took a step back. "Are you okay? You seem a little--."  
  
"I'm fine. I just had to fire one of our waiters. I guess I'm still a little upset." Tammy felt her heart do a flip. "Why don't you let Conner play with some of the toys while we talk?" Angel saw the blanket already lay out on the ground, and was indecisive. Something was off, he could feel it. "Unless you feel more comfortable holding him."  
  
Peering around the room, Angel couldn't find anything that could harm Conner and told himself he was being stupid. Settling his son on the blanket, Conner quickly made a grab for the nearest toy.  
  
"Great. So I thought we'd start by talking about what things you already do with your son." Tammy went to perch against the desk, blocking the globe from Angelus's view.  
  
"Like what games I play with him?" Angel took a seat, keeping an eye on Conner.  
  
"For starters." Slowly reaching behind her, Tammy felt the smooth cool surface of the orb.  
  
"Well I play with him when he's taking a bath." Hoping that this was what Tammy was talking about. He could see that she wasn't really listening, her arm behind her back. "What's going on?"   
  
"What? Nothing." He could smell her fear, as her eyes popped open. Bolting out of his chair he started to advance on her.   
  
Tammy dodged behind the desk, out of reach. Holding a small glowing blue orb in her hand. "I'm sorry but this is what must be." With a few quickly spoken words, Angel felt his head go fuzzy. Staggering over toward Conner, his intention was to take his son and find Cordelia. He didn't make it two steps before falling to his knees.  
  
"Gypsy." The word was spoken more in a grunt. Tammy held her breath until Angel's eyes rolled into the back of his head and his entire body was on the floor.   
  
Picking up the phone, she told John that it was time. 


	7. Bonding 7

Cordelia stood near the entryway of the dinning area, waiting impatiently for Angel and Conner. Letting out a long frustrated sigh she checked her watch again. Dinner had started ten minutes ago, and with every minute that passed her aggravation turned into anxiety. Angel wasn't like most males, he never ran late...for anything. He was precise with everything that he did. So him not meeting her on time made her heart beat double time.  
  
She had gotten a bad feeling in the middle of her massage. One moment she was in the lap of luxury, the next her body was tense, as she felt anxiety grip at her nerves. She hadn't thought anything of it really, but now that Angel was late...Could they have let their guard down so much that they hadn't even noticed that there was a threat right under their noses? She was over reacting, she had to be.   
  
In her minds eye she could practically see Angel's blank expression when she found him. That innocent 'What did I do wrong?' look he seemed to always be giving her. She was going to chew his butt out for scaring her. Tell him that if he wished to spend anymore time on this planet he'd never do this to her again.   
  
Taking one last look around, Cordelia headed toward their room. Maybe something was wrong with Conner. Or perhaps Angel was feeding Conner. Then there was the possibility that Conner puked down Angel's back again. Logically she knew that none of these lame excuses could be true, but in a small way they gave her hope.  
  
Going over every reason why Angel would be in their room, Cordelia reached the door and stood with her hand on the handle for a moment. If he wasn't in there then what?  
  
Slowly she swung the door open and felt her stomach lurch as she saw that everything was just as they had left it earlier that day. Something was wrong. A sense of foreboding came over her as her heart started to race and her eyes stung. The feeling was like the one she used to get when she'd get separated from her Mother at the Mall. The kind of panic that threatened to choke, the desperation that ate away at her insides.   
  
But she wasn't at the Mall where her Mother was just a few clothes racks away. She was a grown up, and the two dearest things to her heart where missing.   
  
STOP. Her mind berated. There's a logical explanation as to where Angel and Conner were. All she had to do was calm down and not let her inane fears get the best of her. She needed to start at the beginning. Go to the last place she had seen Angel. Tammy's office, she had walked with Angel to the office before her massage. They had kissed goodbye...  
  
Spinning on her heel she hurried out of the room, barely remembering to close the door behind her. Walking down the halls at a reckless speed, Cordelia told herself to breathe. It would do her no good to start hyperventilating now.   
  
Reaching Tammy's office she gave a short knock and waited. Knocking one more time, Cordy didn't wait long before she opened the door. The sight that greeted her made bile rise in her throat.  
  
One of the heavy wingback chairs was lying on its side. Papers from Tammy's desk scattered onto the floor. A small blanket off to the side was vacant, but from the crumpled look it looked as though not long ago a child sat upon it.   
  
Giving a startled gasp Cordelia looked down at the item near her right foot. Dropping to her knees, she picked up a small teddy bear, Conner's teddy bear. Tears were swimming before her eyes, falling down her checks as she held the bear close to her.   
  
They were gone. Worse, it looked as though they were taken. Letting herself cry for a few minutes she stood, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand. The others needed to know, perhaps Wes could find something out about the resort that could help her. Angel and Conner couldn't have been gone that long, so their trail had to still be fresh.  
  
There was no way she was going to just lie down without a fight. Her son and the man she loved were somewhere, and god help the person that took them.  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
"What are you saying?" Tammy paced, ignoring the questioning glances from the other clan members. It seemed anyone in a hundred-mile radius was present, no one wanting to miss an event of a lifetime. "I thought you said that the potion mixed with the massage oil would knock her out until tomorrow afternoon!"   
  
"I think we may have underestimated her origins." The voice replied calmly over the phone. "I really don't think she's as human as we first thought."  
  
"That's impossible. Do you know how long we've been watching Angelus and the humans he surrounded himself with? I have read and reread all the notes left by Jenny before she died. Cordelia was defiantly human in Sunnydale, perhaps a bitch, but still human. And in LA...there hasn't been a thing that we missed. We would know."  
  
"I don't know what to tell you Tammy. Miss Chase hopped off the table fine as can be."  
  
"So she's now probably tearing the place apart looking for Angelus and his baby." Tammy cursed under her breath. They never thought of Cordelia being a threat in the last phase of the plan. "Get her and bring her here. I can't have her disrupting the other guests." Ending the call before she heard anymore excuses she turned to face her smug cousin. "What is it John?"  
  
"Angelus has awoken."   
  
"And?"  
  
"Thought you'd like to know that he's beating the holy hell out of his little prison." He gave a lazy shrug that had her wanting to slap him silly.  
  
"Don't worry your pretty little head over it. Angelus can't break out, no matter how hard he tries. There's no turning back now, this is going to happen whether you like it or not." Not having anymore time to put up with his irritating looks or snide comments, Tammy turned and hurried off to find the Elder's. They were going to need to know that Miss Chase would be here soon. They weren't going to like it, but what else could they do?  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Rage, pure dark rage poured over him as he pounded on the metal walls of his confinement. His knuckles were bleeding, raw from the force of his fists continually connecting with the only door that led out of his small cell. He had to get out, find Conner and Cordelia.   
  
He'd been awake now for what seemed an eternity. Kicking and pounding, trying to escape. It had been Conner's distant cries that had brought him out of his haze, making him see red the moment he opened his eyes. At first he had tried to logically figure a way out. But when that failed he snapped, desperate to get out of his prison,  
  
Pushing himself up against the back wall of the tiny cell, Angel ran full speed at the metal door. Slamming his entire length up against the hard surface with all the strength he could muster. The unrelenting door didn't even dent from his impact. Trying again one more time, Angel found himself sprawled on the floor, blood flowing from the huge gash on his forehead.   
  
Rolling over to push himself up off the floor, he let out a loud curse as he started to kick out in frustration.   
  
"Well, well. Look at the caged animal." A muffled voice came from behind the door. "Amazing how far the mighty Angelus has fallen."   
  
Angel balled his fists at his side, just waiting for the door to open so he could tear into whatever fool was behind it.  
  
"It doesn't matter how I feel about you.... You don't deserve what they are planning. So I'll tell you what. I'm gonna open this door and make sure the coast is clear. All you have to do is leave." A moment later the sound of the lock being unbolted rang through the small cell. Not wasting a second, Angel sprung from the room, stopping in front of a familiar face of one of the employees from the resort.  
  
Grasping the young man by the throat Angel crushed his captive up against the wall. "I'm going to ask only once, and you are going to answer me. Where's Conner and Cordelia?"  
  
"You're...free." His eyes wide, as he gasped to breathe, the young man not even realizing his near fatal blunder.  
  
"I see that we're not communicating here. Let me try it another way. I'm not leaving here with out my son and Cordelia. Now be a good little boy and point me in the right direction." Giving a harsh squeeze to the young man's throat, Angel glared into terrified eyes.  
  
"Enough." A strong female voice commanded from behind. "Angelus drop the foolish boy." Not letting go of his victim, Angel looked over his shoulder at the large audience gathered.  
  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
"Wes, you're not understanding me here. They...are...gone. As in was once here but not anymore. I think they were taken." Cordelia paced as far as the cord on the phone would let her. After standing in Tammy's office with the teddy bear crushed in her grasp, Cordelia had run back to their room.   
  
"Yes I checked everywhere... No Wes I didn't try his cell...Why?! Well for one I'm holding it in my hand...No...No...Yesss..."  
  
"WESLEY shut up. I checked everywhere and I refuse to stand here wasting time going over everything I've already explained to you twice. Conner and Angel are gone. I need help figuring out who and why." Feeling a little bad at losing her patience, Cordelia wouldn't let the guilt get to her. "I'm going to see if I can get a hold of any security tapes. I need you guys to find out more about this place."   
  
Her eyes came to rest on the teddy bear that stared back at her from the bed. That urge to sink to the ground and bawl her eyes out was back, but she didn't have the time to give into it. She had to be the adult here.   
  
"I understand Wes. Okay I--." The door to the room opened interrupting her. Her heart jumped to her throat, as she spun around half expecting Angel to be standing there holding Conner. Instead two very large and intimidating man stood just inside the room. "Wes I think there's going to be a small problem."  
  
Both men advanced on her, blocking any escape. She wasn't about to let all those hours of training with Angel, go down the drain. As soon as the first male got within striking distance, Cordelia lashed out, kicking him in the abdomen. Giving he time to turn her attention to the other guy.   
  
"I suggest you leave. My friends are calling the police." Giving a startled shriek when the phone was ripped from her hands, Cordelia balled her first and planted it into the smirking expression of her attacker.  
  
Giving a victorious grin, Cordelia was about to strike out again when her arm was grabbed and instead of receiving the blow she was expecting, she felt a sharp prick in her arm.   
  
Looking down at the needle to the she lifted her eyes back to the stranger. Her head started to get fuzzy, the earth tilted, and everything went black.  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Angel glared defiantly at the old woman, not relaxing his hold. "Where's my son?"  
  
The owner of the voice stepped forward, an aging woman well along in years. Her hair that had once been raven, was now dusted with gray. Her skin almost like leather, her back hunched. But her eyes were alive and bright, giving off strength that couldn't be ignored. "He is safe, and will remain so as long as you don't do anything foolish. John is an imprudent young pup, spoiled and reckless. But he's still a good boy."   
  
Angel looked at the young man in his grasp, seeing the fear now in the young man's eyes. Uncurling his fingers one by one, Angel let John fall to the ground in an ungraceful heap. "I want Conner and Cordelia."  
  
John stood up on shaky legs, one hand to his throat the other pointing frantically at Angel. "I told all of you that he's a beast. You saw what he did to me."  
  
The older woman turned to John, lifting her cane high into the air and rapping the young man over the head. "You idiot. Did you really think he'd leave without his son?"  
  
"So you don't have Cordelia?" Angel questioned, not missing the fact the woman didn't say they had Cordelia.   
  
The woman turned her attention back to Angel and spit in his face. "Can't tell you how long I've wanted to do that. Take him to the circle." With that the woman shuffled away.   
  
Tammy reappeared holding the blue orb in front of her. Angel tried to lash out at the object, but found that his lower body was practically paralyzed. Two large men moved forward, flanking him on each side, dragging him to a post in the middle of the building where a tall pole stood. Chaining him securely, they stepped back leaving Angel alone.   
  
Soon a match was lit, and a circle of flames sprung to life around him. Not close enough to burn, but he could feel the heat. Trying to move his arms he was sickened at what little strength he had. How could he escape if he could barely stand?  
  
Hearing Conner's wails, Angel couldn't help it when his human mask slipped. A collective gasp echoed through his head as the group watching from a safe distance witnessed his change. He was losing control over his body. Trying to lift a heavy head, he looked up at the old woman through the flames.   
  
She stood, swaying back and forth. Her eyes were closed, her lips moving with unspoken words. In her grasp was yet another glass globe, this one was pink. Not having the energy to keep his head erect, Angel let it drop.   
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Cordelia awoke to car doors shutting. Then there was a slight breeze on her face as hands grasped at her. Through her foggy mind she could feel her legs moving but wasn't too sure whether or not there was ground under her steps. He head felt heavy, and trying to rationalize what was happening to her was draining her of the small amount of energy she had.  
  
Trying to remember the last thing she had been doing before the darkness came, Cordelia remembered talking to Wes. Telling him that Angel had been missing. He had been suggesting that she return to Tammy's office and going through the papers on the woman's desk. The next thing she knew here she was all fuzzyheaded walking on air.  
  
Muffled voices floated inside of her head, none were making sense. An odd smell burned at her lungs every time she breathed in.   
  
Shoes, there was lots of shoes. The most hideous shoes she had ever seen. If Cordelia could lift her head without fear that it would fall of she would. But right now it seemed that she was stuck staring at shoes.   
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Tammy watched as her two brothers helped Cordelia Chase from the car. The poor woman looked like she had been on a three day drinking binge. "What's wrong with her?"  
  
"We gave her some Trilite. I guess we over did it." Her older brother shrugged.  
  
"Trilite!? Are you joking? How much?" Tammy stared back at her brothers as though they had seriously lost their minds.  
  
"Don't get all snappy at us! This girl isn't as weak as she looks." Tammy saw proof in the form of a fist size bruise on his upper cheek. "When the oils during the massage didn't work we thought we'd jump it up a notch."  
  
"You're insane. Trilite isn't jumping it up a notch, it can kill her. We have no idea what she is, or how much of it she is. All I do know is if she dies it isn't going to be pretty." Rubbing her forehead, Tammy took a look over her shoulder at Raine, the oldest living clan member, who was standing before the flames in a trance. "She's going to be that way for another hour. Follow me. We need to get Miss Chase coherent before the Elders get a look at her." Tammy led the way as her brother's half drug, half carried Cordelia behind. 


	8. Bonding 8

~~~8~~~  
  
"I said help her walk around, not practically drag her by her hair." Tammy stood hands on hips glaring at her brothers as though they had lost their minds.  
  
"What do you want us to do? She won't walk." Her older brother griped.  
  
"Gee I wonder why." Pulling out a crimson velvet bag, Tammy pulled at the cord keeping the bag closed. "Here put this crystal in her right hand and make sure she doesn't drop it. The bloodstone should draw out most of the Trilite, or at least I hope it does."  
  
"Are you sure that we want her coherent for this?" Tammy also had the same thought, but one never knew how the Elders would handle.  
  
"Well we sure don't want her dead." Tammy sneered. "Are you scared of a girl?" Both of her brothers bristled at the insult. It was miraculous that after twenty years they could still be provoked into doing what she wanted.   
  
~~~*~~~  
  
The fire continued to burn around him, as he listened to the murmured words coming from the old woman's mouth. Escape wasn't an option this time. He had tried his restraints, and found that they wouldn't budge. Even if he were to break through then what? There were too many humans, gypsy but human all the same surrounding the fire that it was without doubt that someone would get hurt.   
  
He hadn't heard Conner's cries in some time. He didn't even know if his son was still in the building. To add to his distress there had been no sign of Cordelia. He hoped she was still back at the retreat, out of harms way. She had to know by now that something was wrong, hopefully she had contacted Wesley by this time. But the chances of that were slim.  
  
"Angelus do you know who stands before you?" The other voices ceased as the old crone before him spoke.  
  
"The Romany tribe." Angel licked at his dry lips, as he struggled to raise his head.  
  
"Yes. The tribe who had been proud to bring you pain and suffering over the last eighty-six years. The same tribe that out precious Janna once belonged, until you snuffed her life without a second thought." The voice was now laced with anger, making Angel cringe at the painful memory.   
  
Angel knew that Angelus had been thrilled that it had been his hands to take the life of one of Romany. A woman who belonged to the same tribe that had lessened his godliness to some sniveling freak. Once Jenny's lifeless body hit the floor, Angelus had stood above the body, angry that it was over so soon. It had been his intention to make her suffer for hours, days. To know the smidgen of anguish that he had to endure since the cursing.   
  
"Nothing to say?" The low cackle brought him back to the present. "You're not going to defend yourself? Tell us that it was Angelus not you that brought this pain upon us once again?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Good. But we know the truth don't we?" The words were confusing. The voice held so much hatred, but the words weren't blaming. "We begin."  
  
The crowed started murmuring. Angel felt all hope disappear. So this was it. This was how his existence ended. Funny he had thought he'd go out with a bang, not some chained puppy. But he supposed it was oddly fitting, to die as defenseless as his victims had.  
  
"Wait." Angel wheezed, the smoke irritating his dead lungs. "My son. Please I need to know...he needs his Mother."  
  
"Darla wasn't fit it pee on." The crass words were barked.  
  
"Not Darla. Though she gave birth to Conner, it's been Cordelia who has raised him. Please my son needs her." Angel used any strength he had to look up at the woman standing outside the flames.  
  
"He will be taken care of." The older woman's eyes softened. Angel knew this was the only promise he would extract from the woman.   
  
A large pillow was brought to her, as four other members gathered by her side. All held an orb in their hands. Angel let his head drop, as he fought the tears swimming in his eyes. Silently he said goodbye to the ones he loved. To his small family at the hotel, who had filled his life with stability. To old friends on the Hellmouth that had made him learn that he wanted to follow the path of redemption. Mostly he prayed that Conner would grow to know how much he was loved by his father. He was thankful that he had been able to tell Cordelia of his feelings, that he loved her and would've done anything to make things work out between them.  
  
"ANGEL!" The cry echoed off the walls. His gut squeezing painfully at the sound of Cordelia's hysterical cry. Lifting his head up as much as he could, his vision blurring slightly as he tried to focus on Cordelia. She stood about twenty feet from the circle of fire, her eyes wide in fright as she assessed the situation.   
  
"Cordelia no, stay where you are." His voice cracked as he read her mind. "I don't want you to see this." Her head shook denying his request, clearly looking at him as though he had lost his mind. "I mean it Cordy, please? I don't want for you to see this."   
  
He was almost relieved when two rather large males flanked Cordelia's sides, both taking a firm hold of her. Now if she'd just turn her head away, he'd feel better. He meant what he'd said, he didn't want her to witness whatever the gypsy's had in mind for him. The memories she should carry through the rest of her life shouldn't be the ones of his death, but of the special times they had shared. He remembered how hard it had been on her after Doyle's death, and didn't want to cause her a smidgen of that pain.   
  
The chanting grew louder as the orbs in the sitting gypsy's hands started to pulsate with light. Angel could feel something starting to shift inside and all around him. Cordelia must have sensed it as well because she became frantic lashing out at the men at her side.   
  
As the pressure grew, Angel growled out, not able to hold onto his human mask. Making one last ditch effort to break out of his chains, Angel looked back in Cordelia's direction, sick to see that she was brushing off her captors and heading toward him.   
  
The flames grew, blocking out his view, but he knew his seer and nothing would stop her if she thought she had a chance to free him of this fate. "CORDY NO!" As his words died on his tongue there was a blinding flash that threw him backwards, knocking him out instantly.  
  
Cordelia was preparing to throw herself through the flames when a force tossed her in the air and ten feet back. Landing on top of some woman with a grunt, she tried to roll of the dazed female beneath her. Staggering to her feet, her head swung toward where she had last seen Angel, only to see a billowing cloud of smoke.  
  
"Angel? ANGEL!?" Pushing her way through the crowd, the grayish cloud started to vanish. Her eyes anxiously searched for any sign of Angel. Suddenly a large cheer went up, as Angel's form could be seen lying on the floor, blood pouring from a large gash on his hairline. He slowly rolled onto his stomach, pushing himself unassisted into a kneeling position.  
  
Not waiting another second, Cordelia raced to him throwing herself into his waiting arms. They held onto one another wordlessly as tears fell from both their eyes. "Shh, I'm okay see." Lifting her face from the crook of his neck, he placed kisses randomly on her lips cheeks and forehead.   
  
"I think there's a little guy who'd like to see his parents." Angel's hold tightened around Cordelia as a voice interrupted them.  
  
Dr Seliva stood a few feet away, Conner cradled in her arms. "You! You're behind this!" Cordelia's voice was full of venom as she wiggled her way out of Angel's arms and advanced on the doctor. Gently taking Conner from the other woman, Cordelia backed away, not letting her eyes leave the woman. "I knew we should have checked your credentials better."  
  
Angel took his son from Cordelia, there were no words to explain the happiness of being able to hold his son again.  
  
"We couldn't let things continue on as they were." Dr Saliva shrugged.   
  
"What? Kidnap Conner and Angel." Narrowing her hazel eyes, Cordelia had never felt such anger before. "I'm sure I don't have to tell you but you're so fired."  
  
A whisper of a smile teased the doctor's lips. "Kind of expected that. But let me explain. I'm sure you already know that we are just a few members of the Romany tribe." A big duh was on Cordelia's lips. "So I wont even insult you by going over our relationship with Angelus-."  
  
"Angel." Cordelia corrected.  
  
"Fine, Angel. Right before Janna's death she contacted me. We talked about the curse. Though we both agreed the original concept was understandable, our ancestors wanted to make Angel suffer. They never thought he'd actually start fighting for the innocent. Janna also said that she believed that Angel would always suffer, that he'd always make himself remember, with or without the clause. She begged me to talk to my father, who was head elder at the time, into taking away the happiness clause. That with Angel working so closely with humans sooner or later there was going to be that one moment..."  
  
"That was four years ago!" Angel rested his hand on Cordelia's back, signaling her to let the woman speak.  
  
"My father was very ill, and after his death there was alot on my shoulders. As you can see I still very young, and this position wasn't supposed to be mine for many years. But when Conner came, and can I tell you what a shock that was, I knew Janna was right. To stop from having Angelus appear again, and keep Angel fighting for the Powers, the clause had to go."  
  
"But why go to all this trouble?" Angel finally spoke up, his gut feeling was that the doctor was speaking the truth. But his past experiences with gypsies wasn't all that shiny.  
  
"I'm sure you would've just jumped into the circle of fire had we asked." Dr Saliva notched a brow. "And honestly we hadn't planed on Miss Chase coming."  
  
"But once you knew I came you could've left Conner with me, he could've been hurt here."   
  
"Honestly we didn't know that. I'm sure you can imagine that not every clan member was happy about my decision, in fact there were several that made death threats against Angelus, I mean Angel and Conner. I wanted to have him here, if anything happened we would've released Angel immediately so he could protect his child."  
  
"Not that I'm saying that I don't believe all this-." Angel started off slowly until Cordelia interrupted. "I am."   
  
"BUT why? Gypsies in general aren't really know for their forgiving nature."  
  
"Basically more use to us with a soul than you are as Angelus." Dr Saliva answered honestly. "Nothing has been forgiven, Janna's death is still fresh in all our hearts. But we have seen the destruction your happiness can cause, and didn't want a repeat."  
  
"So my soul...?"  
  
"Is permanent. Don't disappoint us." 


End file.
